Verse 0.0.8 – The trap of not choosing
I have spoken of the trap of choosing. But to not choose is also a trap. To have no identity, to remain formless, to lack curiosity about who you are, fulfillment may not find you as it can only happen in the concrete.
And fulfillment is an echo of choice.
Do not confuse it with happiness. Happiness may find the person who has chosen nothing. But as such it must be fleeting; anguish may find them as easily and perhaps is more likely.
Fulfillment has to be achieved. It is your measure of you. It is the answer to “have I done the best I could do?”
Verse 0.0.7 – the trap of your identity
I am a woman. I am Russian. I am a Jew. I am an American. I am white. I am confused. I am young. I am an executive. I am an artist. I am my work. Russian. I am successful. I am a disappointment to my father. I am hungry. I am in love.
“I am” – any facet of your identity – is a trap.
Each crystalline assertion combines a truth and a lie. Where our identity is a real truth, or an aspirational one, perhaps these lead to our fulfillment. Where they lie perhaps they protect us against dissolution, against hard truths we cannot yet face.
But certainly these truths and lies may fix us in amber, preventing us from finding a new truth, a new opportunity for fulfillment.
Consider removing aspects of your identity. Who do you become then? Are these burdens we carry that having dropped them loose us to soar higher?
Verse 0.0.6 – The trap of your preferences
The wisest man I know, hearing the call of this Church, and my plea for help with this journey, told me of how the world conspires to kill his son.
What is your favorite food?
Later, asked again, less thought and same answer.
Continental shelves of cuisine vanish behind a choice.
We become provincial as soon as we learn to speak. Swathes of the sacred curve become unobtainable before we know they exist because we will, metaphorically, have pasta yet again, in comfort.
Our preferences become a parasite upon us.
A snake in the garden. What, pray tell, would you prefer.
The area under the sacred curve can be diminished so effortlessly.
Verse 0.0.5 – Know Peace
Some, in reaction to the realization that every moment is literally life and death, feel stress.
Live. Lay on your back and look at the clouds. Yes, labor and strive. Yes fight for what matters.
Life, forced, feels so. You can struggle, but seek harmony.
Verse 0.0.4 – The Chart and its Sacred Curve
How do we think of time. It is personal to our life. The time of this life is all we have. Much will come after, but that is no longer you. You will be gone.
You were born. You will die.
You live now with as much fulfillment as you can each moment. Fulfillment is not infinite. You will be no more alive than giving birth as you jump out of a plane skydiving, having just heard you won a prize recognizing you as the best human of the century for your work in rescuing the entire planet. Certainly no more fulfilled than that.
Hopefully you’ve a bunch of life left in which you can continue to feel fulfilled. Your totality will be the area under the curve as your life is graphed, L/t. Your opportunity now is figuring out how to sustain L’>0, or for the enlightened, L”>0. You can live. To the degree you sustain a lower L over time, you are dying – having missed area under that curve. Length of life is a factor, but total area is the truth.
You are living through moments that never come again. Written durably into the cosmic blockchain. Even now you are spending time here, it may not be your greatest opportunity.
Maybe stop now if only for a minute, and go kiss them once more.
Your morality is determined by your choice to not waste this gift given, to fulfill your life. Your sin is to deny that. To steal away the opportunity for others to fulfill is certainly sin. Contra what you have been taught, such that you behave, to ensure that you fulfill your life is as noble as ensuring another. To ensure both is clearly more noble. We should change how we think about altruism and it’s current interpretation of self-abnegation. It is as moral to lift yourself up as any other. I do not yet understand why the denial of this is so strong in my culture; perhaps I don’t want to know the answer.
But what I want you to know the most, is that because of all this, the time you spent with me was sacred. To lose those moments to us: a sacrament you bestowed upon me.
Thank you for your time.
Verse 0.0.3 – The Journey
We can be as gods – incomprehensibly more alive and fulfilled and kind and good than we are today.
We will never experience arrival there. Yesterday Me could not conceive of what today me experiences, senses, intuits, believes, comprehends, invents, accomplishes. I have become a god in relation to Yesterday Me. Tomorrow Me may achieve this again in relation to Today Me. None of me will feel the sensation of attaining godhood. Each step brings me closer in view to the previous goal, I can see beyond it, and a new goal is accepted. I build into my expectations what was previously aspiration.
Lacking the gratification of arrival, we satisfy ourselves with each directionally-correct step. Each incremental step provides us with instant gratification. We get deeper satisfaction from delta to speed or greater wisdom about direction. We experience viscerally the momentary improvement. We hunger for the subtle feeling of the rate of improvement growing. We celebrate in seasonal cadences where we were and how far we’ve come since the last reckoning.
We are on a journey that ends with us, but not before.
Verse 0.0.2 – We neither compete with nor blaspheme other religions
If you have a faith then The Church of Time is no affront to you or your religion. The Church of Time is the church your God attends. Your God wants you to respect your time for your God gave this time for you to do their work, or for whatever purpose they intend. Join the Church of Time to grow and ennoble the practice of your faith.
If your faith denies this, then it is a faith of nihilism, and is an affront to all things human, and our conflict is the least of your concerns.
If The Church of Time has this wrong, then it must change. Let us know.